Speechless

Saya masuk dalam ofis disambut dengan tangisan wijdan. Dia tammo pandang muka saya. Dia cakap 'We as muslim should know that this will happen" . Masa tu saya ingat wijdan nak tegur saya pi lunch dengan dua lelaki afrika. Sebab selalu kalau apa2 yang jelik mata pandang, wijdan akan tegur. Masa tu rasa agak terkejut lah sebab wijdan sampai menangis.

Saya terkasima beberapa minit. Dan wijdan ambil kerusi sit down dengan saya. Dia kata sebagai Islam, kita kena percayakan ajal. Okes, goosebumps! Sekali dia bgtau encik bos pertama kol cari saya. Di bagi tau my dearest friend telah meninggal dunia.





Charlotte.
It's Charlotte (charlie)
Charlotte Jack.

So, my head went spinning dan tak dapat nak compute Charlotte mana? So, bila wijdan sahkan its our dear charlotte dan wijdan mula nangis balik, I know that the scene will be just like typical drama swasta. Laugh out loud if you dare, saya terjelapuk terus atas lantai dan menangis sekuat hati. I know dalam Islam kita tak boleh meraung, but I just cant help it. Nasib baik ada wijdan dia dia jenuh pujuk saya. Dia berulang-ulang cakap 'Almaut Haq!' dan 'Muslims cant cry like this". Series, terasa macam kena hempap dengan batu. Rasa macam semua mimpi. Rasa macam saya akan kembali sendiri.

As expected encik bos datang opis dan berlakulah sesi menangis sama-sama and we comforted each other *tapi takde adegan peluk-peluk*. At least we agreed on few things, she was happy before she went home

1. Encik bos bagi dia break even dia kena kerja awal minggu depan.
2. Encik bos puas hati dengan progress charlotte sebelum dia cuti krismas. So, she was very2 happy and keep on saying that to me. She was happy to make encik bos pertama proud.

And I was relieved sebab tak jadi ikut dia balik kali ni. It will be very heartbreaking for me and it will be difficult for the family berhadapan dengan kematian bila ada guest kat umah. And surely I will feel out of place.

But I will definitely miss her. Even when writing this my tears cannot stop flowing.

We planned to move out together after new year and now I think I will be alone again.
We always have lunch and go shopping together and now I think I will be alone again.
We always talk about life and boys and now I think I will be alone again.
I just love her mengeji semua boyband korea. Dia akan immitate dan kutuk my boybands adalah gay. She was hillarious.
And we planned to make future research collaborations and give each others daughter a present.
She planned to come to Halim's wedding next year.
She always pat on my head kalau saya cranky and automatically saya akan rasa lega.
I love her and I miss her.

Charlie,
I will buy the sheep mug and give it to Lewis as your wish.
I will reduce my frequency of swearing.
I will always remember you in my heart.

Charlie, REST IN PEACE.