Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Solace, Consolation, Relief

Honestly, I am a weak person.
I am weak mentally, emotionally and no doubt psysically.
I am a crybaby, negative minded person and very susceptible to disease.
I always mourn about my life, about the life of people whom I love.
Why my life is always complicated?
Why his life is so complicated?
Why her life is so complicated?

Why life is difficult for me?
Why life is difficult for him?
Why life is difficult for her?

Well, we need to snap ourselves out of this (at least me!!).
We are so lucky.
We still have all our organs attached to our body.
Our brain is still working (I think mine does).
We still have family and friends to support us.
We are still alive.
We can still use all of our organs.
We can love and be loved.

So what is the problem?
Ill beloved ones?
Heartbroken by the loved ones?
Stuck in a complicated relationship?
Stuck with your research?
Ungrown bacteria?
Our results violated the general knowledge of certain discipline?
Havent found your significant others?
Financial crisis?

I used to cry myself a river.
Trust me if PhD is meant to be for 10 years there is no doubt that I will be blind as a result of crying.
When I felt betrayed by someone I loved, I felt like taking my own life.
Trust me, I am very very weak.
The only thing that make me survive besides the love of family and friends are THE WORDS OF ALLAH.
Deep in my heart I know every single damn thing happen for a reason.
Happen for a good reason.

Remember how I used to weep and cry because I thought my life was a disaster back in 2006/2007? Well now I know those things happen for a damn good reason. I am grateful that I am still alive to realise all of that happen not as a result of an unfair life. This is life.

Allah promised us in surah Al-Inshirah. And I cant agree more. WE WILL GET THROUGH THE HARDSHIP. There many people with worse issues, but they survived. So why cant we?

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
1. Have We not expanded thee thy breast?

2. And removed from thee thy burden

3. The which did gall thy back?

4. And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)?

5. So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
6. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

7. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard,
8. And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.

Whine less, work more!!
Worry less, rest more!!
And you, my love, will be fine. You will be just fine, InshaAllah! :)


Monday, March 14, 2011


Hello. I think I am back. :)

  • Happy for Halim the psychotic doctor - I am going to be the most vogue aunty evahhhhhhhhh!Yeah!!!
  • Sad for Japan. My hearts and prayers are with them.
  • Worried about my grandma - she just undergone an operation yesterday. Hope she is fine and praying for her speedy recovery.
  • Damn nervous for my experiment. Cant wait for it to finish, although it hasnt started!haha
  • Miss you. Miss mom, crazy frogsbrothers, supportive friends. Thank you for always being there for me.
  • Surprised that my childhood friend is finally married! Its a bit sad I wont be able to make it to his walimah :(
I feel lost.
I feel that life is tough.
I feel that I am so weak.
I feel that I will be left alone - will die alone and people will just recover my body after a week.
I feel that I wont be able to finish my PhD.
I feel like I wont be living happily ever after with Jay Park or TOP or Yamapi.

But every single time listening to Maher Zain's song, I know everything will be fine.
I will be fine.
Eventhough I wont get what I want in my life, I will be fine.
I will be fine.
Please stay with me forever friends because I dont want to be alone :)

We will be fine InsyaAllah, we just need to count the blessings. And you are one of the blessings in my life!